Sheldon Swifties LXIIProfessor Proton, Jr VI: Proton Strikes Back
by regertz
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.


Sheldon Swifties LXII: "The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr VI: Proton Strikes Back…"

Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.

Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…

"So…Professor Proton, Jr. is hangin' up his spurs?" Penny eyed Sheldon as they sat in his living room, a perturbed Amy at his side, patting arm…

Meanin'…My brief career behind the camera is kaput? Not to mention the fifty bucks I get for the professionalism I bring to each shoot?

Geesh and my dad was so impressed to hear his lil' slugger was a director.

Ok, I didn't tell him what I was directing…Still…

I was gettin' kinda attached to that "directed by…" credit on You Tube.

And to that extra fifty…

"Well, with Professor Proton, Sr. gone…" Sheldon sighed.

"Yeah, but the king is dead, long live…Well, not meanin' disrespect…" Penny noted. "But wouldn't he want his lil' Jr to carry on the tradition?"

"Oh, Penny…Come on. We both know he was embarrassed by his career as Proton." Sheldon shrugged. "Probably more so by mine as Proton, Jr. No, it's time to hang it up."

Naturally, just when in the last one we were starting to inject a little romance…Amy thought sadly…

Leonard eyeing Sheldon from his chair….

Though it was Penny's clear disappointment that startled him a little…

But oh, right…Fifty bucks she didn't have to sheepishly admit she needed to "borrow" almost every week.

"Well, Sheldon…" he tried. "You know I think the world still needs Professor Proton. Think of all the kids who were inspired to do Science because of him. Now the next generation will be lacking its Jean-Luc Proton, Jr. Are you sure you really want to abandon them?"

Knock at the door… "That must be Howard and Bernadette…Are you ready to go?"

"I suppose…" Sheldon sighed.

"Yeah…" Penny, equally morose.

"Great…I see it's to be up to me to be the life of the party tonight." Amy noted, a bit pleased.

"Terrific…" Leonard…Rollling eyes as he looked away. "Come on in…" he called.

Howard in ridiculous bleached-blonde wig and stripped T-shirt...Eager beam…

Bernadette behind him…Looking a bit grim in her T-shirt.

"Howard?" Leonard stared… All stared.

"Howard, what the hell is that?" Penny blinked.

Bernadette rolling eyes, glum look…

I'm doing this out of…Love…Grim frown at Howard, who nodded happily at her.

"Boys and girls…Ladies and gentlemen…" Howard, pausing before the sofa. "I have news of vital importance. After some years of obscurity, the most famous engineer is back. And on You Tube."

"What?" Sheldon stared…

"The engineer's engineer…The inventor par excellence…" Howard, eagerly. "If I may be so bold as to show you…?" he stepped over to Leonard's laptop on table.

"The New Adventures of Tom Swift Jr.?" Leonard stared at the screen… "On You Tube?"

"When I was a kid…I read every book Victor Appleton II or whoever she was…Churned out." Howard, excitedly. "That blonde blue-eyed, perpetually 18 year old was, with suitable avoidance of any disturbing discussion of race my idol. He'd just walk into a lab…And bamm…Out would come a giant robot, a jet-propelled sub, a space station making super solar batteries, a repelatron-driven spaceship."

"That's ridiculous…" Sheldon frowned. "I read one of those silly books once. There's nothing remotely scientific about them."

"Yeah but they had the key ingredients…Things that went pow, zap, bizzzzz, enemy agents, and pretty girls."

"Girls?" Leonard blinked. "I read a few of those when I was a kid…There was his sister and one girlfriend, as I recall…"

"Well…" Howard shrugged. "My own fertile imagination supplied the pretty girls." Bernadette frowning…

"And look…Tom has already got 100000 hits on his first new adventure…" Howard beamed. "'Tom Swift and his Protonic Dissimulator'"

Sheldon looking over reluctantly…

"Sheldon?" Amy stared at the screen. "Isn't that Professor Proton?"

"So…Tom Swift, Jr." a cut, dubbed false voice, nothing like that of the Professor… "I…will…Steal…Your Protonic…Dissimulator…And…Rule…the world."

"That's not Professor Proton…" Sheldon glared. "Why they've cut him in and dubbed his voice."

"Isn't that copyright violation?" Amy stared.

"No, they got the surviving family's permission…" Howard noted. "I guess they figured he wouldn't mind."

"No one…Will…Believe…That the great…Professor…Proton…Stole from you. I will finally be…Hailed…As a scientist, not… A buffoon…" the false Proton was made to rant.

Sheldon watching in horror.

"That's awful…" Amy stared. "They can't do that to Professor Proton. Sheldon?" she looked at him.

"Oh, it's just to get attention for the new series." Howard shrugged.

"Capitalizing on Arthur's death?" Leonard, likewise shocked. "That's pretty low, even for You Tube."

"What can I say? Proton's out, Swift's in…Engineers rule." Howard smiled.

"In a pig's eye!" Sheldon fumed. "This is too much. It's bad enough they keep trying to claim Edison was a scientist instead of a dodaddler…But when they besmirch Professor Proton's good name…" he rose. "There must be an end. The line must drawn…Here…Here and no further. That punk engineer is going down! Dr. Amy, my coat!" he stood proudly erect.

"Yes, Professor Proton, Jr.!" Amy, eagerly…

"Penny…Get the camera set up… Today's adventure. How engineers are the trained monkeys of the scientific world. And how a crime was done to the memory of…My spirit father."

"Right away, Prof P! Jr.!" Penny declared, rising happily.

Oh, Cameragirl Penny is back…and as miffed as I should be at that title, oh I'm so glad!

"No visitors on the set…" Sheldon called. "This production must be kept safe from the prying eyes of the enemy…" Narrow look at Howard in his Tom Swift outfit.

"Fine…But you'll rue the day you took on Tom Swift, Professor Proton, Jr.!" Howard, mock-fuming…Shaking fist…

Leonard following him and Bernadette out… "Sorry guys…Sheldon's a bit upset still…"

"Nicely done…" Leonard hissed to Howard as they went into the hall. "Bernadette, thanks so much." He smiled to her…She shrugging.

"And tell Zac he was not too bad as Tom Swift…" smile. "I owe him…"

"Sixty bucks…" Howard noted. "But he actually had a good time. He wants to keep doing them, only next time could we not use such big words as 'dissimulator'?"

"He wants to continue?" Leonard stared.

"Heck, he said he'd do it for free. He likes playing a 'Science dude'…" grin.

"Well, you told him it was just to get Sheldon back to doing his Proton videos…For Amy and Penny too."

"Sure, but Leonard…" Howard grinned. "He really did get 100000 hits on the first one. He's a You Tube star as Swift. And I have to say…Being the sole and head writer…"

Het-hemn…Bernadette coughed, eyeing him.

"With help from my beautiful assistant and co-creator/producer…"

"Yeah…And I was up till 2am with you guys, lets remember that." She frowned.

"Though…" she grinned. "It was kinda fun. Especially when you gave Tom a microbiologist girlfriend."

"Well, that's all nice…" Leonard noted… As the sounds of Penny arguing with Sheldon came through the door…

"Sheldon, I know what is organic to a scene!" "Spell 'organic'…!" "This is art, Sheldon…Spelling isn't the issue here!"

"But…" Leonard continued as they all eyed the door… "It was just a fluke…"

"You don't think there are people who love engineer/inventor nerds like Tom as much as physics geeks?" Howard… "Especially good-looking ones? As opposed to pudgy, dull guys writing on whiteboards."

"Professor Proton did more than write on whiteboards…" Leonard glared. "He did all kinds of great experiments. Real experiments…"

"Did he fly to the moon? Did he find a cargo of space specimens at the bottom of the Atlantic while inventing a flying submarine?" Howard frowned.

"That's all fake…" Leonard waved an airy hand.

"Excuse me…It all came true…He inspired us engineers to make those dreams reality…As we so often do while you boys sit in your offices, twiddling your thumbs…"

"Twiddling…?!" Leonard fumed.

Fellas…Bernadette sighed….

"I say…The next Tom Swift Jr puts Proton Jr in the dog house…Care to make a wager, Proton boy?" Howard, gleam in eye.

"Done." Leonard, nodding. "And I for one, am gonna write a series of Proton adventures in science that'll leave Tom Swift eating proton dust."

Guys…Bernadette…Shaking head.

"I mean, come on…What does Swift or any engineer do that anyone handy with tools could do?" Leonard noted.

"Leonard…" Bernadette frowned. "Howard brilliantly repaired a space telescope during his ISS mission that's detecting exoplanets by the gazillon."

"And who's doing the real work there?" Leonard, smugly. "At least it's working better than his space toilet…I guess."

"Hey! Howard put his ass on the line, mister! He invented a whole new repair scheme! Don't you tell me he didn't do the 'real work'! You…You Theorist!" Bernadette raged.

Did you have to mention my ass after the space toilet thing?…Howard sighed.

"Come on, Tom…We got adventures to write to blow Professor Proton, Jr to the nearest star!" she pulled at Howard. "Eat our repelatron dust, Hofstadter!"

…

Cue canned music…

Slightly shaky black and white video opens on scene of Sheldon and Amy in white lab coats standing in Sheldon and Leonard's living room…

"Greetings, young scientists-to-be and their dull-witted sibling followers and hangers-on…And welcome once again to the Adventures…Adventures…Adventures… of Professor Proton…Junior…" Sheldon notes, pointing to whiteboard behind him on which is written… "The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr."

"This episode is dedicated to Arthur Jeffries." Sheldon solemnly…Penny smiling at him from behind the camera.

"…And is entitled. 'Why Tom Swift Jr sucks big time at theory.'"

Amy in lab coat holding sign with cartoon of Tom Swift Jr with dunce cap…


End file.
